Wed. Feb. 10

I'm writing this a little earlier tonight. Gracie and I came back to our room early because I feel so totally exhausted. I told her that it's pretty bad to be so tired from doing nothing much all day. I love being there with Dan and I find myself up and down all day, rubbing his feet, adjusting his head or just standing close by and whispering in his ear. Nothing like an usual day, but all the same, I'm tired.

Paunie and Larry got in to SL last night and since they're staying at the same place as we are, we were able to meet up at their room this morning before we headed up to the hospital. It was good to have them here today.

Gracie and I stopped at Jamba Juice for our morning breakfast and then we went right to the hospital. Dan was much the same, however, the attending nurse mentioned that one of the Neurologist had been by to see him and he thought Dan had tracked him with his eyes. We were excited but got no purposeful movements from him when we tried. Later in the day the same Dr. stopped by again and tried to get a response from him, but not this time. Nobody is really sure if he did it even once.

We had a good visit with the Dr. and his entourage of interns when he examined Dan this morning. We decided to leave the breathing tube in a couple more days just incase he starts to wake up. Then he did a couple of other things. One, he took the restraits off of Dan's left hand to see the the movements that we do see had a purpose. The way he holds up his head and leans towards the breathing tube and at the same time raises his left hand makes it look like perhaps he's trying to pull out the tube. So, with the hand released from the restraint we watched. But, his hand never went towards the tube, just up slightly and back down again. We watched this long enough to surmise that Dan isn't really trying to get the tube out. It apparently doesn't seem to bother him, which it would if he were conscious. It's very big and bulking and going right down his throat. So...

Then they did another check. They took a swab that is used to suction out his mouth and the Dr. put it in his mouth towards the back. There was no gag reflex from Dan so he probably didn't feel that either. Not a good sign.

Paunie came in and got to have some time with him, too. I want to think Dan was aware of her there but we don't know so, we'll assume he did. She brought up a book that the siblings have put together about each of them. She had read some of it to Dan on the phone the other day. We'll read the rest of it to him later. She also brought a picture of their Dad that had a special meaning to them all and a book the his brother Gaylin would like us to read each year. I've left them in Dan's room so that others coming to visit him might also enjoy them.

The nurse that attended Dan today is one of my favorites. He is a hard worker, conscienous about Dan and kind hearted. Earlier in the day there was an exchange between him and Gracie and he ended up saying, "I'd rather have a Kit-Kat". When we went out for some dinner we bought him a giant Kit-Kat and I think he liked that.

The Drs. and nurses at the VA have been amazing!!! They truly care about Dan and about us. A residence stepped into Dan's room tonight to ask if we had any questions and that opened up a discussion about "What now?" In the end, she said that she would contact the team that talks with family in this kind of situation and would set up a meeting for the family tomorrow. We will ask our questions, listen to options and ask more questions. Perhaps we can do some Speaker Phone calls with some of the others so they can participate as well. I know we have some pretty weighty decisions to make in the next couple of days. If any of you children reading this tonight want to connect with us, please give us a call so we can be sure to get you in on it.

Like I said, I'm tired,so Gracie and I came back to the room and are waiting for James, Elizabeth and Seth to arrive. They should be here pretty soon. We don't know if they will stay the night here with us in SL or try to get down to Provo and stay with James' sister and husband. They are also pretty tired.

Will and Jenni are a little further out but they will be going to Jenni's friends place here in SL. People sure are good to take care of us. I will check with the girl up front in the morning to see if we can stay here again tomorrow night or not. They may be full up but we'll see.

Thank you all again for your comments, your support, your calls and your love. I don't get to call all of you back, or reply to each of your emails, but I carry your love in my heart each day that makes each day a little lighter.